That’s strike I, for the new government.

For us outcast Pakistani citizens, it is strike LVXCII. But who the hell is counting anyway, right?

Some people wrote about it (here, here, and here). Some people cried (you have to wait in a line at a bus stop to see that). Most of the people, however, just discovered yet another point to discuss during lunch hour and waste the time. That is what we are good at, complaining and doing nothing.

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And this preferred buyer?

The scary Scar.

Pakistan has recently received another set of US demands (we seem to be getting used to these now). “Submit or you shall be sent to the Stone Age.” Oh no, not that again!

More precisely, the demands goes this way.

We would like the following facilities for our military and auxiliary personnel:

1. Status parallel to the embassy staff (diplomatic immunity!)
2. Entry and exit without a visa
3. Accept legality of US licenses, including arms licenses
4. Allowed to wear uniform and carry arms
5. US criminal jurisdiction to be applicable on US nationals
6. Exemption from all taxes
7. Inspection-free import and export of all goods and materials
8. Free movement of vehicles, vessels including aircraft, without landing or parking fees
9. Selected US contractors should also be exempted from tax payments
10. Free of cost use of US telecom systems and using all necessary radio spectrum
11. Waiver of all claims to damage to loss or destruction of others’ property, or death to personnel or armed forces or civilians

It’s outrageous, you say? Remember that notorious phone call from Ricky? And how Mushi huffed and puffed and signed the Afghan war agreement? Wasn’t that outrageous? That started what followed, didn’t it? That one small step for Musharraf became one giant leap for the US. But you know what? Sometimes man has to do what a man has to do. That decision probably saved Pakistan from going back to the Stone Age. This time it probably will be done to save us from the Dinosaurs era. Those were deadly animals, you know.

We are use to it. Whatever the Field Marshal United States of America says. We follow the orders.

“Yes, Sir. At your service, sir.”

Looks like the hon’ble elite e-force of ISI (read goo… never mind) is busy filming the new judges.

Sadly, the site also refers to Additional Registrar Syed Hammad Raza who was mysteriously killed by some unidentified flying objects (read… never mind, again).

Ass-saving disclaimer: According the Supreme Court of Pakistan website, Hon’ble Mr. Justice Abdul Hameed Dogar is actually the latest Chief Justice of Pakistan. As of Tuesday, December 11, 2007, 4:26 PM.

Update: Of course the site was taken off the Net soon after this discovery (hey, somebody actualy reads my blog!). Get the snapshots from here: Home, About SCP, Chief Justice of Pakistan, Former Judges of SCP, Schedule of events, Organizing Committee, Themp Papers, Contact Us

Huh?

Pakistani roads are much more hazardous to health. Should we stop driving as well? What else do they expect us to use? Electricity? Which costs tons more and is virtually non-existent in some areas? May be they want us to cut down the remaining trees that somehow survived the onslaught of CDA and the Military, Inc (read FWO). Or, may be, they are helping control the population by freezing people to death. Or — this one sounds even better –, they are US agents trying to “control” the “extremists” hiding in the northern areas.

In fact, SNPGL provided no alternative. Not even a lame one. Like El Presidente’s suggestion to use vegetables instead of pricy tomatoes (sorry, just couldn’t let it go).

How about starting from “the palaces”, dudes? The Prime Minister’s Secretariat and the two Presidencies, you know. I am sure we can heat a few dozen villages by controlling just these.

The government should stop authorizing more CNG stations (there are around 8 CNG stations within less than a kilometer on Malakand Road just outside Mardan!) and start moving their asses on alternative energy sources (I mean “start working faster on alternative energy resources”, but you get the point). Otherwise, we will soon have a huge number of gas stations but no gas to compress, except our own.

Here is the ad for your reading pleasure: