Government

Pakistan is for SALE

You must have noticed the winter sale season going on these days. Hang Ten is giving 50% off. Nike is doing better at 60%. Sheikh’s Mall is beating both of them with 70%. But no one, I repeat, no one, is able to beat the Lion King and his pack of hyenas. They have put up a sale that will be unbeatable until the dooms day. Pakistan is for sale. At 100% discount. Only the preferred buyer allowed.

And this preferred buyer?

The scary Scar.

Pakistan has recently received another set of US demands (we seem to be getting used to these now). “Submit or you shall be sent to the Stone Age.” Oh no, not that again!

More precisely, the demands goes this way.

We would like the following facilities for our military and auxiliary personnel:

1. Status parallel to the embassy staff (diplomatic immunity!)
2. Entry and exit without a visa
3. Accept legality of US licenses, including arms licenses
4. Allowed to wear uniform and carry arms
5. US criminal jurisdiction to be applicable on US nationals
6. Exemption from all taxes
7. Inspection-free import and export of all goods and materials
8. Free movement of vehicles, vessels including aircraft, without landing or parking fees
9. Selected US contractors should also be exempted from tax payments
10. Free of cost use of US telecom systems and using all necessary radio spectrum
11. Waiver of all claims to damage to loss or destruction of others’ property, or death to personnel or armed forces or civilians

It’s outrageous, you say? Remember that notorious phone call from Ricky? And how Mushi huffed and puffed and signed the Afghan war agreement? Wasn’t that outrageous? That started what followed, didn’t it? That one small step for Musharraf became one giant leap for the US. But you know what? Sometimes man has to do what a man has to do. That decision probably saved Pakistan from going back to the Stone Age. This time it probably will be done to save us from the Dinosaurs era. Those were deadly animals, you know.

We are use to it. Whatever the Field Marshal United States of America says. We follow the orders.

“Yes, Sir. At your service, sir.”